Poems: 1st One

Title: FINDING ME

I looked up at the sky today,

Wondering what it had to say.
It looked down on me
But turned away.



The clouds seemed to run from me
Telling me to go away.
I buried my head into my hands
And weeped for morning.



But then I heard the ground speak to me
"What is it my friend that you seek?"
I began to entail, my problem with no solution,
Droplets in my eyes, seeing no evolution.\



"What's my purpose? What's my aim?
Is there anything left for me to stay?"
The ground never answered, for all but a while
it longed to stop making me cry.



"Get your head out from the clouds,
Get your feet back on the ground,
The test of time is here and now.
The test you should not fail."



A simple answer,
But the thought was long,
I did not understand or worse i did not heed.
I had everything, so why was i so empty?



Questions left unanswered i walked a long way back home,
Of course with realization greater than gold
I love you, I told myself
There is nothing greater than loving yourself!

Lists: Movies

Here is a List of Few of the Movies I like.

1.) Movies I Like in NO Particular order.. except for Shawshank (English)

1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Monsters Inc.
3. The Rock
4. Tranformers (All 3)
5. Mrs. Doubtfire
6. Ice Age (1 and 2)
7. Cars
8. Toy Story (All 3)
9. Sleepers
10. Batman (Christian Bale Series)
11. Finding Nemo
12. Stand By Me
13. Walk To Remember
14. A Cinderella Story
15. Titanic
16. Cheaper By The Dozen
17. X-Men (All)
18. Crank (1)
19. Harry Potter (1 and 2)
20. Mulan
21. 10 Things I Hate About You
22. Transporter (1)
23. Resident Evil (All)
24. American Pie (1 and 2)
25. Fast and the Furious (1,2,4 and 5)
26. Just Like Heaven
27. Legally Blonde
28. Eight Below
29. 101 Dalmations
30. Brother Bear
31. Dumbo
32. Dunston Checks In
33. Slepless In Seattle
34. Alien v/s Predator
35. Alien (Part 1)
36. See Spot Run
37. Big Daddy
38. The Hills Have Eyes
39. Mr and Mrs. Smith
40. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
41. Smokin Aces
42. Face Off
43. Fight Club
44. The Ring (1)
45. The Lion King
46. Marley and Me
47. How To Train Your Dragon
48. Shrek (All)
49. Taken
50. Inception

Lists

Ok just an introduction to my following "List" blogs. So I'm going to be making "Lists" of various things i like/dislike... or whatever i just want to talk about.

My blogging has become almost next to nothing so this is how im going to "blog". If you can call it that. Well my blog so I feel it is. :)

The Just Series: Just Saying

Friends With Benefits u might have them? I have no comments on whether I have them or not... Cause everyone who is my friend seems to think that :P. But yah I do. They just don't know it muahhhhaahahahah (thats an evil laugh... btw)... I know its not something to be proud of... But I'm sure we all have them.

You can't tell me that every "friend" you have is your best friend and you would die for them. No right? There are some good friends and some not so good friends. But even then they exist. Maybe that's the friend you call when no one else is available or no one else wants to talk to you at that point of time.

Well to be honest I would never die for my friend literally. I mean come on, we just say those things most of the time, like bff's my love my life. BULL SHIT if you ask me. Today you may say it and tomorrow you will be at loggerheads with the same person. Its better you cherish the friendship today and hope that it stays the same tomorrow.

Another thing about "friends" that bug me is how we are able to move on so easily. I mean you get it right? Like we have fights and then they can migrate to a whole bunch of other friends with such ease and leave you wallowing in self pity.

So if you come to see aren't we all friends with benefits? Whether we are with someone because it make us happy or because we need them at that point.

Well to be honest I'm not sure of that. I have a few real good friends. And sometimes they just drive me up the bloody wall. But I love them. And if they are there when you need them the most they are there for you. It makes you feel like they love you because they know you are hurting and they have left everything else to support you at that time.

So yes this was about"friends with benefits" right. So yah i do have them. But I'm sure im just the same kind of friend to them as well... well cause we don't spend so much time with me. And they DON"T know me know me.....

What I feel is that often the word "friend" is used a lot these days. But i think thats a special word... just like "love" is. It should be used appropriately.. or it loses its significance.

You know what I'm really hating about myself lately? That the same thing i hated in someone else. I'm doing it now.... quite a lot lately actually. And what is that u might ask... It is bitching about friends. Not like derogatory bitching... but still. It's wrong. And i really feel ashamed now.

If I'm going to talk about someone i should either have the courage to tell it to them on their face or not speak about them to another friend at all. That'a a very pathetic and loser like habit.

Anyway I'm stopping right now. No MORE.... If I don't have anything else to talk about... then i'll just shut it.  Let my conscience be clean atleast. Self pity is the worst.

Lol That's just me.. trying to better myself :P But there is still A LONG WAY TO GO :P

Till then que sera sera ;)

-Nikita

The Just Series: Just Changing

CHANGE one sits and wonders how a word this simple and small could have so many connotations. When we say the word change, atleast where I’m concerned, mean a very big difference to me.

But when one sits down and thinks about it. Change is a very integral part of our lives. We may not always like it or accept it but its still there. Sometimes you can prevent it but other times its out of your hand completely. Sometimes change is good sometimes you may not like it. But one had to think what’s all the fuss about? I mean its eminent that its going to have then why crib and cry over it? I came to the conclusion is its human naturenot to accept anything different without putting up a fight. You know because we have to show how cool we all are  .

My whole problem is how people go on saying “You have changed from before. Your not the same.” well obviously I can’t be the same always. If I were to be the same always wudn I be sucking on a lollipop still (some people still do it I know). But you get what I mean life changes you and makes you react differently to things which say 5 or 10 years ago you would have acted totally differently to you. I bet the person saying I have changed has also changed. So what about that?

Often to me change means “progress” however or whichever way you see it. And change is important even to oneself. So just accept change and move on to the next venture instead of crying all the time.  yes that coming from me.

Till next time Peace Out

-Nikita

Just Series: Just Thinking

There are few days in a persons life which may seem simple but are still one of their unforgettable memories…. Haha I say few but there may be many depending on how you perceive things. I guess its always the simple things for me. Yes people who know me may probably say I am a kind of person who wants things “larger than life”, I will not disagree with that I am what u call high maintenance  But yah I think its because I do get all I want I sometimes miss out on the little things in life… Well not really miss out but long for them. Like maybe spending more time with my dad. Yes that’s the only thing I actually crave for the most. What else is there actually.

I love my dad a lot. And I know he loves me immensely. The fact he works so much is evidence enough. I have no complaints at all. But I guess I do miss those days when me and my dad would dance to “Baazigar O Baazigar”, watch movies, play games, go for ice cream, when he would carry me on his shoulders when we were at India Gate….

So yes I guess when u grow up u cannot have the exact same relationship with everyone. I might miss those days but I do not miss my dads love, because its always there for me. So I have memories and they make me happy. But I have my dad and that makes me happier.

So you may ask the purpose of this post….. Well just to say that even though I might miss the. TIME I spend with my dad I don’t miss the LOVE. 

K that’s all…. 

-Nikita

Letting Go

“We All Know That We Will Die One Day, But We Don’t Believe It Or We Would Live Differently.”

These were the words spoken by my father on the alter on the day of the memorial mass of my grandfather. He died on 20th June 2010. He had been sick for 3.5 years. When he was diagnosed with his lung disease the doctor gave him maximum two years to live.

You see my grandfather was not just a grandfather to me.. he was not a person i would see on holidays.. he was more a father to me.. he was a friend and a confidant. My parents separated when i was 6 years old ever since then my grandmother and grandfather have looked after me for most of it. My father was consumed in his work so he could give me a life i probably couldn’t even dream of and he has. 

It never ever struck me that one day I’m not going to have my grandfather. I just assumed he would always be there but then one day he wasn’t. I could never wish him for another birthday, he wouldn’t see me grow.. i could not tell him that i loved him and i couldn’t ask him for forgiveness for the times i behaved badly.

I learnt that day the value of time and how selfishly we waste it thinking there will be a tomorrow. But what if tomorrow doesn’t come? I wasted a whole day thinking about tomorrow when i could’ve spent it in a better way. But that time has gone and i don’t see the point in crying over his grave telling him i love him... I shouldve showed it to him when he was alive.

Live today like there is no tomorrow.. Cause many a times there isn’t and rather not regret the time wasted later 

:) I did not get chance to give a speech at the alter that day in memory of my grandpa but if i did it would go something like this and i’m glad i could share it with all of you today.